General reflections on 11/3/2018

It has been about 2 months since I stopped working. Time passes by very fast. In today's church sermon, it is about time. There is always a season for rest, teaching me to learn how to be still. I think I have a different type of rest. I have rest from work, rest from difficult and nasty people, commuting long distances, traveling for business acquisition. For the last two months, I have spent my free time in the National Library, doing my own research, reading, studying and meeting up with friends. I met one of my industry friends in the library using the Regus business lounge. I met my MBA classmates. I met my high school friends. I was able to attend weddings, baby birthday parties, and dinner. More importantly, I was able to spend quality time with my family.

At the same time, I am worried for money every time I took out the wallet and withdraw either the credit card or cash. Why should I be worried? I am financially independent. I should be able to cover my family basic expenses. I do not know why there is this fear. I feel that I need to work. I feel that I need to accomplish something more. I feel that I need to contribute to the household income. I did contribute to the household income, I sold some shares and made some money. I just have this sense of insecurity. I have a lot of "what if" scenarios. What if the market crash and draw down of 50%? What if I don't have sufficient money for retirement because I am spending money and not making more money? I feel that I can provide more for the family.

I have more time to think. Think about my present portfolio and how will the business perform in the future. Some of the businesses worry me. Most of them will be fine. I also have time to think about what I will like to do for another 30-40 years of my working life. I cannot forecast 5 years into the future. I can only plan 1-3 years ahead.

1. I will like to join the wealth management industry
2. I am interested in equities (bottom up approach)
3. I am reading up on the macro business news (top down approach) to appreciate currencies, bonds, commodities, employment and interest rates.
4. I want to serve the mass market. I was never brought up in a rich family, my parents save and scrimped to put food on the table. I save money through giving tuition during army days and working guard duties for people to pay for half of my university tuition fees. I continued to teach tuition from 18 years old all the way till 28 years old. I worked every single semester holidays from store man, QA/QC technician, dress up as an elf to give brochures in Raffles Place, zoo facilitator, etc to make and save money. You get the idea. I am very thrifty and always have been an underdog. I have an achiever mentality and want to prove to my primary school friends and people who undermine my capability that I will strive to be better. I believe the underdogs can win the race too if they believe in themselves and continue to work hard for their goals. I want to help them to increase their financial literacy and financial well beings. Yes, I know the money is made from the wealthy but my heart goes out to the mass market. I derive satisfaction from helping few of my friends to improve on their financial well being through financial planning. I want to reach out to more people to understand their needs and how to improve their life.
5. I want to spend quality time with family

Sometimes I will have this gambling mindset, wondering if I have placed $1 m when Creative share price is at $1.25 and sell it at $10, how will my life be. This mentality is same as what if I strike lottery. Stupid and greedy me.